Eureka Christian Church

Reflecting Christ's Light from Our Doorsteps to the Ends of the Earth

Questions

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What does confidence look like biblically?

What does confidence look like biblically?

There are several ways to understand the word “confidence.”

One can have confidence in self—knowing that you have the gifts within you to do what needs to be done.  I think of young David standing before the Philistine champion Goliath (1 Samuel 17).  Goliath had terrified the army of the Israelites.  But there David was, wearing no armor or protection of any kind and armed only with five stones and a slingshot.  He stood there bravely because he knew that he had the skill within him to prevail.  That is confidence.  Or I think of the woman who came to Jesus asking for him to heal her daughter (Mark 7:24-30).  Strangely, it seems at first like Jesus is going to deny her desperate plea, but she is firm.  She will not rest or keep silent until Jesus acts.  Can you imagine the courage it took for her to advocate for her daughter like that—before Jesus himself?!  Now that is confidence!

One can have confidence in God—this is more along the lines of trust.  Trusting in God’s guidance for our lives; trusting that God will see us through any trial.  The Bible is filled with stories of people who put their confidence in God.  Abraham and Sarah left their country and their family to move to a new home, to go out into the great unknown because they understood that is what God wanted them to do (Genesis 12:1-9).  They put their confidence in God to see them through the wilderness.  When the angel came to Mary and said, “You will conceive and bear a son,” Mary said, “Let it be with me according to your word” (Luke 1:26-38).  She said this even though she knew that once people found out she was with child, she would be the target of much gossip and deep public shaming.  Mary trusted that God would see her through all that heartache.  The Psalms are also a good place to turn for examples of confidence in God.  (Read Psalms 13, 23, 27, 62, 91, and 121, for example.)

One can have confidence in others—recognizing that others have important contributions to make and that we never have to go it alone.  It is worth noting that even Jesus himself didn’t go it alone.  One of the first things he did in his ministry was to call others to work with him (Matthew 4:18-22).  He knew that his disciples had wonderful gifts to share; he had confidence in their abilities.  The Apostle Paul, who started many of the earliest churches, did not insist on doing everything himself either.  Instead, he knew that everyone has a different gift or skill to share.  Paul compared the church to a body: “As it is, there are many members, yet one body.  The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you,’ nor again the head to the feet, ‘I have no need of you’” (1 Corinthians 12:20-21).  The vision is for everyone to feel free to do their part.  This is what makes us complete together. 

One final thought:  Perhaps this question is asking about when confidence shifts from being something that is healthy to something that is harmful.  (This is one of the challenges of our Questions ministry; it’s hard to know if we are responding to the actual question!)  Sometimes we talk about the “sin of pride.”  Pride (confidence) by itself is not a bad thing.  In fact, I believe that God delights when we feel good about ourselves and the gifts we have to share.  After all, in the moment of creation, God looks around and sees that it is all “very good” (Genesis 1:31).  Things take a turn, however, when pride begins to consume us—when we become boastful, arrogant, or rude (1 Corinthians 13:4-5) or when we begin to think of ourselves as better than another (Romans 12:3).  This is neither confidence nor pride; it is self-centeredness.

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What is my purpose when I am old?

What is my purpose when I am old?

This has been questioned as long as people have entered old age. In my ministry the elderly have consistently complained “I can’t do the things I once did.” I know firsthand what they meant. The other day I went to wash the car windshield. Easy? Hardly. I was exhausted and didn’t do a very good job. The first thing is to accept what getting old means. You have been blessed a lifetime and there is yet purpose.

Is your spouse still living? If so, tell them every day you love them. If not you can still talk to them and tell them how you have loved them and still do. Do you have grandchildren? Rejoice and tell them again and again how special they are. Do you have son or daughter who makes sure you are o.k.? Thank them, love them, and know how blessed you are. Your purpose is to multiply, to love your family, and thank God for them.

What was one purpose, no longer is. Your purpose is to live. And if you are single consider the special people who have been and still are so very important to you. To care about them is a purpose. Write to them, call them, and be a special friend.

Read and write, putting your thoughts and feelings on paper. You never know who will read it and be inspired. That is a huge purpose.

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What is our duty to Christ at our advanced ages?

What is our duty to Christ at our advanced ages?

Do we have a duty to Christ or is it a relationship in which we desire to belong to Christ. Each of us have our own ways of coming to Christ. Some things in keeping the relationship strong and viable are prayer, reading the Bible, caring for people around you, even people a long way away. Ex: The people of Ukraine. Don’t make it a duty. That makes it law and Jesus was not about law. It was more about the New Covenant in which goodness is something in the heart. See Jeremiah 31:31. God no longer commanded or demanded. God put goodness in our hearts. It has become a part of us. As Christians we are motivated by God’s love and grace. It is no longer a duty but a blessing in loving relationships with our God.

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How can I help my elderly parents without taking away their sense of independence?

How do I help my elderly parents without taking away their sense of independence?

What a hard question.  Well, you need an unconditional love for them and lots of patience.  They will probably struggle with everything it takes to be independent.  They will have frustrations and at time you will be the person to blame.  So when actions and decisions have to be make, be sure to include them in what course of action needs to be taken.  If it is something you need to do, include them as much as you can.  It is something they can do, decide together and let them proceed.  Remember it is a family affair like it always has been except now the heavy part of the process has shifted to you.  As much as possible try to help them understand that too.  Again lots of patience and unending love among all of you is essential.  Oh, yes, be sure to pray about it.

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How do I show love?

How do I show love?

What is love? At its heart and very roots love is caring deeply about people and caring calls for “action” that puts flesh and bones to love. It certainly is not sentimentality. Sometimes love to be tough, but always caring. Love requires a deep commitment to other people in which the self is set aside to caring things can be carried out. Maybe it is contributions to the food pantry, maybe it is being sure a handicapped person gets needed transportation or food. Maybe it is sitting with someone who is very ill or maybe something as simple as a telephone call or a card or babysitting. God does use you for this. It is a fantastic experience.

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How do I grow in my desire to share God’s word?

How do I grow in my desire to share God’s word more?

It seems to me that a person needs to be involved in church school and other faith groups where questions can be raised and answers sought. Often there may be no single “Oh! This is the answer!”
Sometimes discussions can lead in positive ways and take a long time to bear fruit. Answers to other questions may be found along the way. Reading your Bible will help. Using Christian reference books are helpful. The work of authors like William Barclay and Richard Rohr provide feed for thought and
“A-HA” moments above all. Be faithful to your purpose and be patient.

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Why does the Bible make me feel like nothing I do will be right by God?

Why does the Bible make me feel like I should die? Like nothing I do will be right by God?

I’m sorry that reading the Bible makes you feel as it does. And it’s true that some parts of the Bible, like Jesus’ instructions to “turn the other cheek,” (Mt. 5:38-40, NRSV) or to “go, sell your possessions, and give your money to the poor,” (Mt. 19:21, NRSV) sound like impossible ideals for us to live up to.  You may find comfort in knowing that Paul, to whom authorship of much of the New Testament is attributed, also felt badly about his inability to live as he believed God intended him to live.

In his letter to the Romans, Paul wrote, “I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate…For I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is, in my flesh. I can will what is right, but I cannot do it. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do.” (Romans 7:15-19, NRSV).

Paul, however, also understood the power of God’s grace and God’s desire for us to be justified, or made right, with God through our faith in Christ. In the same letter to the Romans, he also wrote, “There is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and death.  For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do: by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and to deal with sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, so that the just requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.” (Romans 8:1-4.NRSV).

Please know that you are not beyond God’s reach, God’s power to forgive, or God’s love, and that God longs to be in relationship with you.

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Why have we been cursed, yet blessed?

Why have we been cursed, yet blessed?

These questions have vexed theologians for thousands of years, and as you might imagine, they have generated a variety of responses. Some believe that the blessings are God’s reward for righteous, or faithful living, while the curses are punishment for unrighteous and unfaithful living. Others believe that moments of suffering, or curses are meant to be times for us to learn something important from our suffering, and that we will be rewarded for enduring suffering, either in this life or in a life to come.

You began your question by asking, “why?” The premise of your question is that there is a why. Some would say that there is no “why,” and that suffering is simply part of the human condition. I don’t presume to know who is right and who is wrong, and if I’m completely honest, I need to admit that before I share what makes sense to me. I don’t think of God as a God who is controlling every event that happens in the world, that is, every blessing and every curse.  Instead, God cedes some of God’s power to humankind and gives us the freedom to make choices – some good and some not as good – to allow us the opportunity to grow and flourish. But I don’t believe God is indifferent. God is present even when we suffer. God is more like the loving parent who kisses her child as she walks out the door in the morning and says, “make good choices today.” We need that freedom to grow, to flourish and to live out our potential, to become all that we can be; and that involves risk on God’s part. I believe that risk is an inherent part of God’s creation. Some will argue with me and say, “but couldn’t God have created a world without that risk and without the likes of Adolph Hitler?” Perhaps. But that may also be a world without Jesus, Mozart, Albert Schweitzer, or Mother Theresa.

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How can I have hope when life seems so overwhelming?

How can I have hope when life seems so overwhelming?

Hope is about positive expectations regarding future outcomes.  Life is hard, and can often seem overwhelming.  It is important to develop goals—the more overwhelmed we are, the smaller the goals should be—and to work toward them.  When we have the flu, a major accomplishment might be taking a shower, for example. As we accomplish goals, we should allow ourselves to appreciate them (“Hey, that was something”). If we do this repeatedly, over time we can look back and see a number of accomplishments.

The reason for our hope is important, too.  When our hope is in transient things or empty things, then it will be difficult to sustain it. We see this in the movie Snow White, when the wicked stepmother, whose hope has been in her own beauty, is no longer the most beautiful in the kingdom—Snow White is.  She then seeks to have her killed.  When we are seeking after God we become aware of more lasting things—such as love—which make it easier to sustain hope.

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How do I forgive somebody that keep trespassing on my boundaries?

How do I forgive somebody that keep trespassing on my boundaries?

This is a hard one.  I think the first step is to figure out how to stop the boundary trespassing, because otherwise it will feel like an ongoing wound or trauma. When a person does not respond to our verbal requests, sometimes we have to guard our boundaries by sharing less about ourselves or our situation with this person, asking others in our lives (who do respect our boundaries) not to share information with them, setting up interactions so physically it is more palatable (e.g., we can control the physical space or the length of the interaction more). I once had weekly meetings in a restaurant with two co-workers.  One co-worker would always come late, want to sit on my side of a booth, and then would delay letting me out of the booth when I was ready to go (I flashed back to Junior High every time!). I finally decided to sit at tables rather than a booth.

Once this has been done, and we feel more in control of our situation, then it is helpful to try to understand the boundary-crosser’s point of view.  This is not to say that what they are doing is okay, but that rather when we have more empathy for them and what they are doing—even though it is inappropriate or ill-conceived—then it is easier to forgive them.  Though they may not ever ask for forgiveness, boundary trespasses can cause significant resentment within us, and forgiveness is essential for our own well-being.  Often this process of forgiveness must be done multiple times about the same person, because we keep thinking of the boundary trespassing and having negative feelings about it.