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Question: What if my motivation to go to church is corrupt (I want to go to heaven) but I also want to have a relationship with God and I’m trying?
The humility of this question astonishes me. Thank you for your humble, honest confession and the expression of your desire to have a relationship with God. Perhaps “wanting to go to heaven” and “having a relationship with God” are one and the same thing? God honors all our efforts to have a relationship with him (or her) and spending time in worship with others at church is certainly significant in his eyes. Your hunger to know God and to have a relationship with him will not be denied.
When you go to church, and I am assuming you mean going to church on Sunday morning, here are some of the things you are doing 1) you raise your voice in praise to God by singing, 2) you hear and absorb God’s word being spoken in the scripture reading, 3) you see and love God’s people by speaking to them, 4) you pray to God both out loud and in the silence of your heart, and 5) you experience God in the person of Jesus Christ as you partake of communion. Wow! That’s a lot, so I believe you are creating a relationship with God every time you go to church. Heaven is probably the place where God dwells fully and experientially, therefore it is natural that you want to go to heaven. Going to church is one way of accessing heaven. If you would like to experience God more fully while still on this side of heaven, you might enjoy reading Soul Feast: An Invitation to the Christian Spiritual Life by Marjorie J. Thomson.
