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How can I help the dying or sick better?
If you can be with the person who is dying or sick, my suggestion is to learn how to listen empathically. That means learning how to listen deeply to what the suffering person is sharing with you simply for the purpose of fully understanding what they are experiencing. It is different from listening with the intent to think of something to say in response. Being heard and understood is often more validating and meaningful for someone who is suffering than just about anything we can say. And you need not be stoic in their presence; if you shed tears with them, it can be very empowering for them if they feel they have been heard.
I find it helpful to reflect on times when I have suffered. I can’t remember very many things that people said to me in those moments, but I can remember many of the people who showed up. The fact that you are present for someone who is sick and dying probably means more than you know. Finally, if you cannot be present, don’t underestimate the power of a card or a short note to let someone know you are thinking of them.
Photo by Patty Brito on Unsplash
